I’ve had complaints that my blog posts are long and waffling, and no-one can be arsed has the time to read them.
So, choosing to believe that my friends are all super-busy hard-workers (rather than just big kids with attention-deficit issues) I hereby present you with a fun-sized posting; engineered for the if-it-doesnt-fit-on-my-iPhone-screen-I’m-not-reading-it generation.
I was sat in the park this lunchtime, with my sarnie. On the next bench over from me are two middled-aged builders, also eating their lunch. One finishes his sandwich, and proceeds to pull out a tin of pineapple, open it, and eat the contents with a fork. It is quite a big tin.
I then hear this exchange:
Smith: “You eating pineapple?”
Jones: “Yup.”
Smith: “Quite a lot, though eh? That’s a big tin! Fancied a change?”
Jones: “Don’t really like it, to be honest. But apparently it’s … useful …”
Smith: “Eh?”
Jones: “Well, it’s my wife’s birthday. So I thought I’d make an effort … for tonight.”
(There is a brief, thoughtful silence. Smith watches Jones continue to fork-it-in.)
Smith: “Romantic f__ker, aren’t you?”
If you don’t understand it, I’m not explaining it to you.
Rob wrote:
lol….!
And personally, I like the long posts. I always read them through, even if I don’t comment often..
Link | September 2nd, 2010 at 9:35 pm
admin wrote:
Thank you kindly! 🙂 I get the impression you’re in the minority, though. Normally I just get “Too long, didn’t read” messages from everyone else. 🙂
Link | September 3rd, 2010 at 1:33 pm
James Blast wrote:
I’m just happy to read a new post from you, you’ve set a very high standard Sir!
Link | September 3rd, 2010 at 6:03 pm
Peter Collier wrote:
That just made me laugh out loud, I love hearing random strangers conversations like these 🙂
Link | September 7th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
admin wrote:
I didn’t know whether to be disgusted, or whether to shake his hand. I’m considering building a statue in his honour. I think he may be my new hero. 🙂
Link | September 8th, 2010 at 11:08 pm
Peter Collier wrote:
It would have to be some sort of Leninist style statue holding aloft the Pineapple to do it justice.
Link | September 9th, 2010 at 8:33 am
admin wrote:
And depict his wife … erm …
Link | September 9th, 2010 at 10:02 am