I had a go at blogging a year or two ago. Nothing special – I just installed WordPress on a Linux box I have running at home, and tinkered with it from work occasionally.
When I installed WordPress on my new hosting service, I had a quick shufty through my old database to see if I’d written anything suitable, and came across this little gem.
I thought I’d keep it, as it reminds me of how depressed I was in my last job. I’ll blog about it properly sometime, but to sum up for the moment: they were a very considerate employer, paid reasonably well, and were more flexible than they needed to be … it just wasn’t the job for me, and we all knew it.
I thought I’d print it here, so that those of you who enjoy your jobs are reminded of how lucky you are! To be in a job you detest is truly the pits.
To set the scene: I was employed as a C and C++ coder (what I consider “proper coding”) but unfortunately had to spend a lot of time working on a PHP monstrosity. Don’t get me started on PHP …
I’m getting fucking pissed off with this fucking pissing shitty PHP that has been written by some obvious fucking genius who knows just how to spread code over thirty fucking files when he could have just as easily crammed it into one, but didn’t have fucking time to add any fucking comments, because he didn’t fucking need to, as this fucking PHP code is blindingly fucking obvious to anyone with a cocking brain. Unlike me, who is fucking sat here, with absolutely no fucking motivation and insufficient fucking oxygen going to my pissing brain so I can barely keep a coherent fucking thought in my head long enough to work out that I shouldn’t fucking be here, and that this fucking PHP work should be dealt with by the fucking PHP programmer that we fucking employ to do this fucking job, so that I can go back to the proper fucking coding that I should be fucking doing and feel like I’m actually earning my fucking cocking pay. At the moment I feel like a fucking fraud because I’ve spent nearly two solid pissing days staring at pages of badly fucking commented PHP code with a stupid fucking frown on my face, like I’m doing a smelly fucking shit in my pissing chair. If I was my fucking employer, I wouldn’t be fucking pay me a fucking penny, the freeloading little fucking shit that I clearly fucking am.
I might as well fucking spend my fucking time here fucking thinking about fucking. Why don’t I just fuck off and work in fucking McDonalds, because I’m quite fucking clearly not up to fucking programming, despite the fucking fact that I’ve spent twenty fucking years at it. I’m a fucking disgrace.
Fortunately, my Tourette’s is coming along nicely.