This keenly-observed ponderance comes to you courtesy of the Department of Donuts, Philosophy and Stating The Bleedin’ Obvious of the multinational behemoth that is the Oddbloke News Corporation.
Our moment of enlightenment – whilst being forced to endure children’s television on Saturday morning – is this:
Bob the Builder is a lie.
Bob is a hard-working, honest, friendly builder. There is never a copy of The Sun left on his dashboard. He is environmentally conscious, punctual, reliable, clean and presentable, always does a perfect job, has never engaged in dirty chat with Wendy, and has never ever used the expression “Oooooo …. it’s gonna cost yer”. He has never done any work cash-in-hand in order to bypass those troublesome VAT payments. His vehicles talk.
Quite frankly, the only part of the whole affair that I could possibly believe is that last one. It is easier for me to accept the concept of a talking cement mixer with learning difficulties than a builder that turns up on time.
Warn your children! Warn them well! Otherwise they’re in for a shock when they grow up and get someone round to quote them for a fourth bedroom over the carport. It’s a cruel world.