Overheard at work #4

“Have you noticed how many potholes there are at the moment?”

“Yeah, it’s because of the weather. Freezing at night, then warming up during the day. Stresses the road out. Makes the holes.”


They call her "Tarmac Betty" - not easily laid.

Just done this job, right? Resurfacing, up by Cash Converters. Still got a bit left, just wondered if you wanted your drive doing?

(I cannot adequately describe conversations like this without highlighting the short, contemplative pauses. They convey the deep and philosophical musings in which my colleagues engage. Suffice to say that at this point there was such a pause.)

“Shame the Queen isn’t visiting.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, anytime the Queen visits, they always clean the dogshit off the pavements and fill-in the potholes before she gets there. She’s never seen any roadworks in her life.”

“Maybe they should get rid of her limo, and make her drive around in a Tarmac lorry or steamroller. Get the roadworks and the royal waving done in one go. Multitasking.”

“You think we could repurpose the Queen?”

“Well … diversify. Make her more useful to society. Fixing potholes, resurfacing, painting double-yellows. Maybe the occasional Presscrete driveway.”

“Might work. I’d be more of a royalist if I didn’t have to keep changing my shock absorbers every bloody year.”

“She’d be up for it. Someone should suggest it to Clarkson as a Top-Gear special.”

I might start a regular “my office colleagues put the world to rights” feature on my blog.

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posted in Ramblings, Random, Work by Oddbloke

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