Black box recordings

"Who else had the fish?"

"Who else had the fish?"

Another finger-on-the-pulse, current-events conversation from the cerebral sophisticates I share a cell office with. It is as sensitive and understanding as you might expect.

Final Words from the cockpit, as stored by the black-box recorder:

  • Bet you can’t fly between those towers.
  • Press it! Dare you! It doesn’t do anything, honest.
  • Did you have the fish?
  • Don’t worry, it’s not loaded.
  • It’s a fucking mountain! Its not gonna shift.
  • Oops.
  • We gonna crash? OK. Try to aim for something solid. I don’t want to limp away from this sucker.
  • Don’t bring that in here! If you spill it on any of this …
  • Should it be making that noise?
  • Sigh. Look, lets just look at this logically. Count the wings again …
  • Right, put the blindfold on. Now we spin you round and round … that’s it. Now, here’s the pin …
  • There’s something on the wing!
  • Ever think that “Lost” may actually be quite a cool way to live?
  • Nah, ignore it. It always comes on too early. There’s at least twice the amount in there that it says there is.
  • Snake!
  • Bet he’ll swerve first!
  • Oh, not again. Look, just turn it off and on again. That’ll work. Should reboot in time. No, DON’T do check-disk!
  • See much of Brazil?

I do apologise.

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posted in Current Events by Oddbloke

1 Comment to "Black box recordings"

  1. Dad wrote:

    · “It’s quiet back in the passenger compartment”. “Yes, lets have some fun, turn on the seat belt sign…..”

    · Let’s go near the ocean and see if we can fly under the Radar.

    · I’ve been reading the manual and it says this plane can recover from a usually fatal stall…

    · “You know this is a so called fly by wire plane?” “Yes”. “Well the wire’s broken”

    · This is the Captain speaking, Is there a computer expert on board?

    · Are you sure that was the toilet tank dump switch?

    · The Trolley Dolly is half way down the isle with the drinks trolley, now if I just put the plane into a dive…

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