Overheard in the park

I’ve had complaints that my blog posts are long and waffling, and no-one can be arsed has the time to read them.

So, choosing to believe that my friends are all super-busy hard-workers (rather than just big kids with attention-deficit issues) I hereby present you with a fun-sized posting; engineered for the if-it-doesnt-fit-on-my-iPhone-screen-I’m-not-reading-it generation.

I was sat in the park this lunchtime, with my sarnie. On the next bench over from me are two middled-aged builders, also eating their lunch. One finishes his sandwich, and proceeds to pull out a tin of pineapple, open it, and eat the contents with a fork. It is quite a big tin.

I then hear this exchange:

Smith: “You eating pineapple?”

Jones: “Yup.”

Smith: “Quite a lot, though eh? That’s a big tin! Fancied a change?”

Jones: “Don’t really like it, to be honest. But apparently it’s … useful …”

Smith: “Eh?”

Jones: “Well, it’s my wife’s birthday. So I thought I’d make an effort … for tonight.”

(There is a brief, thoughtful silence. Smith watches Jones continue to fork-it-in.)

Smith: “Romantic f__ker, aren’t you?”

If you don’t understand it, I’m not explaining it to you.

Offend a friend:
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posted in Diary, People by Oddbloke

7 Comments to "Overheard in the park"

  1. Rob wrote:


    And personally, I like the long posts. I always read them through, even if I don’t comment often..

  2. admin wrote:

    Thank you kindly! 🙂 I get the impression you’re in the minority, though. Normally I just get “Too long, didn’t read” messages from everyone else. 🙂

  3. James Blast wrote:

    I’m just happy to read a new post from you, you’ve set a very high standard Sir!

  4. Peter Collier wrote:

    That just made me laugh out loud, I love hearing random strangers conversations like these 🙂

  5. admin wrote:

    I didn’t know whether to be disgusted, or whether to shake his hand. I’m considering building a statue in his honour. I think he may be my new hero. 🙂

  6. Peter Collier wrote:

    It would have to be some sort of Leninist style statue holding aloft the Pineapple to do it justice.

  7. admin wrote:

    And depict his wife … erm …

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